my kids and me at Lake Michigan
A quick personal update:
What a summer!
Autumn is slowly arriving in Boulder. Powerful times. I feel like the trees that are shedding their leaves, letting go of what must die and embracing my stance as it readies itself for darker days.
Everything in my life is getting more sacred, more vibrant. My eyes are opening more as is my heart.
My life is very full with two little children. They continue to crush me with their love. It ain’t all warm fuzzies. Both kids have a way of triggering me in places I didn’t know existed. I love this householder path–awakening through marriage and children.
My wife and I are re-visioning our life together. We have spent a lot of time getting more and more clear about what we want for ourselves, our family, and our relationship. It’s intimate, sacred.
I also recently spent three sleepless nights with the sacred Yagé (ayahuasca), facing my deepest darkness and my brightest light. The Shaman’s teacher was the facilitator. He’s straight from the jungle and the most powerful & soft man I’ve ever met in my entire life. Needless to say, the divine Yagé has once again pulled the rug out from under my stance. I’m deeply grateful for the community of people who, over and over again, are willing to face their shadow directly and open to greater love. More to come in a future blog post.
Since that night I’ve been cooking in something very important. It has to do with two very contradictory forces occurring at the same time and it appears irreconcilable. Relaxing into that.
I’m getting that my life is completely and utterly trustworthy and it’s always been that way. This one is hitting me deep into my bones and it burns yet feels like a homecoming.
The weekend after the medicine ceremonies, two of my very close friends got married and it blew my heart open even wider. My wife and I got to dance wildly which hasn’t happened in years. The Monday after the wedding, my system couldn’t take it any longer and I shut down. I became irritable. I wanted to punch something. Then I relaxed into my closure and accepted it. It soon passed. Ah, this contraction was new!
After my 40th birthday, I got clear that this is the year of self-love for me. To love myself in every corner where I’m currently not loving me. I’m deepening my self-love and self-respect. Particularly in the area of money, sex, and career. As I love me more, the vibe I send out changes, thus the people I attract into my life are changing as well.
My own experience is my greatest teacher and so once again I refrain from reading books or working with human teachers. Something important is growing inside and my intuition is growing stronger.
My work with clients is accelerating. People are going for it. Men and women who yearn for truth, connection, love. These folks are facing their shit head on, and it’s inspiring. I wonder if karma is speeding up right now because folks are waking up more and more to who they really are. It’s happening right in front of me! Whoah!
Exciting stuff to come this fall, winter, and next year. Stay tuned…
…more importantly stay connected to you and what matters most to you!
Jayson
my son exploring the beach
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