We all want the same thing.
It boils down to one fundamental need with 2 critical components.
And, I’m not talking about money, social status or good looks.
Those are all great, but won’t satiate the longing in your heart.
And, no I’m not talking about the truth either, although that matters a lot.
What is the ONE thing you want and need in order to survive and thrive?
Watch this short video to find out. And, you’ll get another critical distinction about intimate relationships.
Didn’t both to watch the video?
Well then, I’ll give it to you here.
The most essential human need (outside of our basic survival needs) is to be loved.
Simple.
I want to be loved. You want to be loved. Not by everyone, but by at least one other person.
Love is food for humans.
You want to be loved by at least one person, right?
Okay, but what does this mean?
Being “loved” by your partner means…
A person that helps you feel safe.
A person that is committed to understanding you.
A person that sees you. Gets you.
A person that has your back, period. Even when they are triggered and upset by you. And when they go away or shut down, they come back. They respect you enough to come back and work to clean it up and resolve it.
A person that believes in you and is a champion for your greatness.
A person who supports you, but also challenges you.
A person who’s love penetrates your defenses.
A person willing to love you even when you’re mean, a mess, or just plain hurtful.
You want this, and you need it. Remember, love is food. Starve us of this type of “food” and we deteriorate mentally and physically over time.
So, can you see that you want, and need, to be loved?
But here’s the catch…
…Your partner can’t love you completely. They can’t do it. Most people can’t.
It’s kind of a set up….But…
…They can learn to love bigger than they thought they were capable of. And they can learn to love you in a way that feels good and growthful to you. In fact, any of us can learn how to love our partner, just as they are, at least for a little while, until they trigger us again. And then again. 🙂
But loving your mate requires more than meditation, yoga, or practicing compassion.
Sure those practices can help. But despite what a lot of new agers tell you, loving someone as they are is a very rigorous path. But that’s no excuse to not learn.
Your ability to love is innate in you. Deep down, below your limitations and defenses is a warrior who can learn how to accept more of your partner.
And wouldn’t you agree that the world needs more capable lovers out there? People who are willing to stay in the fire when it gets challenging. Because I guarantee you, it will get challenging. The world needs more people who don’t, and won’t, run from their relationship problems.
That person is you.
If you feel called, you can apply for The Relationship School™ Roots Community here.
Because remember, your partner will bring out your worst, which is the good news. Because your worst is easily transformed into your best if you learn how to stay in the fire of a committed relationship.
photo by Johanna Reimer
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