Conflict Is Good News – Diane Musho Hamilton – SC 20

I really enjoyed this conversation with Zen teacher Diane Hamilton. She brings such a genuine willingness to move toward what’s uncomfortable in our relationships. We explore why she left the mormon church and how she got into zen practice. We also take a good look at parenting, marriage, and why it’s so paramount to be able to take our partner’s point of view. I know you’ll appreciate this dialogue.

SHOWNOTES:

• A special guest kicks off the podcast [0:10]
• Beginning of the interview [5:20]
• Diane shares the arc of her life up to this point [6:00]
• Diane’s “genius zone”: Meditation and Mediation [10:00]

I don’t want peace at the sake of low energy, nor do I want high energy at the sake of harmony.  Those qualities both matter. – Diane Musho Hamilton

• Skill with conflict = comfort with difference [16:00]

A couple that can take each other’s perspectives, as well as perspectives from their children or perspectives from the outside, generally points to a couple that has more flexibility and more range in their relationship. – Diane Musho Hamilton

• Diane shares about the relationship dynamic with her husband [19:30]
• Diane defines conflict: “Extreme difference that is fueled by emotion, and is very disruptive to the system” [21:00]
• Why is conflict “good news”? [22:10]
• The 3 styles of conflict [24:15]
  • Avoidance
  • Accommodation
  • Aggression
• How Diane uses meditation to work with conflict [29:00]
• Diane demos mindfulness meditation [32:50]

• The yogic practice of hearing perspectives we don’t agree with [39:00]
• Bringing Zen and Integral into conflict [45:40]

HELPFUL LINKS:

Dumb Fights

My upcoming Conflict Webinar

Diane’s Website

Diane’s Book: Everything Is Workable 

10 Directions

The Integral Map

The Enneagram

Zen Buddhism

ABOUT:

Diane Musho Hamilton is an exceptionally gifted mediator, group facilitator, and one of the authentic contemporary spiritual teachers of our time.

Combining decades of innovation in conflict resolution with an enthusiasm for life, she knows how to address the challenges of our modern experience with an uncommon spiritual perspective.

With extraordinary warmth, depth and insight, she encourages us to consciously evolve beyond old and limited ideas of who we are so that we might discover our own unique expression of wisdom and of compassion in this time.