As I reflect on this year, I arrive with an immense sense of gratitude. Despite the deeply stressful global situation, my family and I are thriving. There have been many blessings in 2020 and a huge amount of personal and professional growth. This year was burly and I rose to the occasion, despite countless mistakes, unmet goals, and missed opportunities.
I fell down in many areas including my gut health, building our coaching referral program, and prioritizing myself.
But, I wrote a book, grew my business, grew financially, reached more people than ever, strengthened my partnership, and deepened my family bond.
For the past few years, as the year ends, I spend a few weeks gradually reflecting back. I say gradually because it can be hard for me to carve out a few days to just review my goals and set new ones. I tend to work in chunks through the month of December. But by January 1st, I’m mostly done with my goal setting and my reflections.
I won’t bore you with my 11-page goal document. Instead, here is a short summary of where I did well, and where I didn’t do so well. I hope this serves you in some way.
My advantage
One of the biggest insights that have come in 2020 is how, as a white man, I benefit from a white-centric world. While I worked harder than perhaps I ever have to serve and support my family, it’s important to acknowledge my advantage. I busted my ass on top of a world that works for me, with me, and not against me. It’s like having the wind at my back. I don’t take this lightly and continue to study and get the impact of my privilege, advantage, and position as a white man in this life.
Family
My wife and I came through a few hard moments in our relationship and are now stronger than ever. I love her deeply and am grateful for her hand on my back as I meet my life and work to accomplish my mission and goals.
My kids are thriving despite the challenges with homeschooling and zoom learning. Being a TV-free household, and screenwise family, our kids are coming into who they are more than ever. Each day I am humbled, watching my kids grow and evolve, and being a dad continues to be one of the greatest joys and accomplishments of my life.
I took my son on a 5-day wilderness survival father-son trip with a bunch of other dads and their boys. It was life-changing to get that time with my son and step away from screens for almost a week. I posted a bigger share about this on my personal FB page here.
Business
The Relationship School is also thriving. My wife continues to be a massive ally, co-teacher, and sounding board. And, I continue to get taken to “school” on a regular basis as a teacher, boss, CEO, and business owner. I fell short on a few business goals and reached or exceeded others. My weaknesses have never been more clear. And with exposed weaknesses comes a spotlight on my strengths.
We enrolled our largest class of coaching students ever. These folks are amazing and learning how to help people with fire in their hearts. We now have over 50 certified relationship coaches! We also enrolled our largest classes from 2 virtual workshops and served hundreds of people in over 12 countries.
When COVID hit, I knew we had to help, so all of our certified coaches rallied and offered free coaching for a short period of time. I made one of my courses available for free and 1000 people took me up on the offer and I guided them for 30 days through the course with live coaching and support. It was an amazing experience.
I also hired a business coach and financial consultant that I worked with all year and I hired a marketing coach as well.
Wealth building
I woke up more and more than I ever have around my money situation and my value on wealth building. My personal investments grew, my savings grew, my money smarts grew.
Creativity
I wrote a book! And we are at the finish line of editing and reworking parts of it. It’s been a massive undertaking and I couldn’t have done it without the support of my wife and team. I did really well prioritizing this project and had a blast doing it. That said, it’s still challenging for me to prioritize my creative time. See below.
By the way, The Relationship School Podcast, reached 4,000,000 downloads! Wowzer. Thanks for listening, subscribing, and sharing! (I consider the podcast to be a creative outlet).
Relationships
As always, I let go of some relationships and fostered new ones. Loss and gain continue to be an important truth I see each year. Hard to have one without the other. Partnership and family strengthened.
Personal growth
Sometimes people project that I don’t have any issues or that I’m somehow over my relationship issues. Just a reminder that I’m just like you and have plenty of “issues” and I’m always working on the ones I’m aware of. I made serious progress with one of my core relationship patterns and it feels so good to get more empowered in this area. This is an area I respect and appreciate about myself deeply. I always examine what is coming up for me and what other people trigger in me and I have amazing support around me to get to the bottom of whatever issue is in my way.
One of my biggest struggles remains how I don’t prioritize myself. This is often true of coaches, therapists, nurses, and doctors. We tend to serve others more than serving ourselves. Just the other day, my wife noticed, yet again, how I put “work” above doing something for myself. I’m gaining traction here yet still have a ways to go.
Each year as I reflect on my progress toward my goals, I feel more and more empowered and grateful.
I very much realize and see that my mission in life is also my art. Love is my art and my goals in 2021 are to spend even more time doing my art.
What about you?
What are your reflections on your year? What was your biggest lesson or takeaway? Biggest failure? Success? Did your relational life improve?
Partner up with someone you love, read this, get a few ideas, and create your own personal reflection for the year as you set goals for 2021. Share openly with someone.
As always, I’ll report back at the end of next year with some wins and losses and lessons.
Happy new year. 🙂
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