Women often get blamed for being emotional…
…so, how emotional does your woman get?
Some of the stereotypes that peg women as more emotional can be accurate because men are often “stuffers” meaning men tend to stuff their emotions and bury them from a young age.
Either way, both men and women can get very emotional during a long-term relationship especially under stress.
It’s human to freak out during a relationship.
In my experience, men are simply more likely to get quiet and shut down while women tend to pursue connection and get loud. And, yes, I get that it can be the other way around. For example, a “passive” woman who marries an emotional aggressive or abusive husband.
Either way, if your spouse gets “loud” and has a hard time containing their emotional upheavals, remember them as children and try on some empathy…
…they often grew up in a family who was overly emotionless or overly emotional and are merely acting out of a habit.
So, if your spouse is the emotional one, watch this short video and take notes.
There’s really two main ways to deal with an emotional person.
1. Be a rock
2. Set boundaries
In this video, I cover number 1. “Be a rock.”
If you are unable to be a rock or a mountain for your emotional partner, you’ll want to learn how to set some boundaries first.
I recommend exploring these posts here:
https://www.jaysongaddis.com/2012/11/how-to-set-a-boundary/
https://www.jaysongaddis.com/2014/01/how-to-set-a-boundary-and-how-to-respond/
https://www.jaysongaddis.com/2012/08/what-to-do-if-you-are-with-an-emotional-woman/
Once you are able to set some boundaries for yourself, about how you are willing and not willing to be treated, you can really start showing up for your partner in the midst of their upset in a way that has them feeling safe and supported.
Since most of us grew up with families that didn’t know how to handle our emotions, we never learned to be with someone we care about when they get upset with us.
It can be very important then, to take the view that both of you are like wounded children during a fight.
Seeing your spouse this way can make it easier to get on board with learning how to parent them during stress. Give them what you never got during your childhood. Be a rock, an anchor, and a solid parent who will love them through their fears and frustrations, even if their finger is pointed at you.
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