If our claim is that we are about being totally, authentically who we are, then we need to see all the places, and ways in which, we are afraid to live it.
If we examine ourselves closely most of us are not living very authentically. We are living someone else’s dream in someone else’s value stream. And, if we take a deeper peek behind our mask, it turns out that we care about all kinds of things. We care about other’s opinions of us, we worry about how they might react to us, we compare ourselves. We put ourselves up and others down or them down and us up. We are afraid to feel the stuff we’d have to feel by being our genuine Self. Why do a lot of us behave this way? Perhaps because we want acceptance. Maybe because it hurts to feel judged. Maybe it’s a higher priority to beat ourselves up in hiding than be a loving mess out in the open.
But the big reason we dare not be who we really are is that as children we traded our authenticity in exchange for relationship. As kids we were not fully embraced for who we were, and since connection is food and we needed it, we abandoned ourselves and created strategies to belong in the family. These are the roots of co-dependency and if you are not aware of this, you’ll unconsciously keep rocking that smart strategy that worked for you as a child and be less fulfilled in your relationships as a result.
For example, I recently went home to spend time with my family of origin. It was a wonderful few days full of intense practice. I showed my mom my new tattoo. Her first comment? “that’s disgusting!” as she covered her mouth and turned away. This is but a snapshot of what i grew up with and I’m learning to be grateful for it. Her “way” is making me stronger and love myself more deeply.
Good to recognize and see what we are up against if we truly want to be a self-governed soul on this human journey.
p.s. more on my tattoo here
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