“I love you, but I’m not in love with you…” Maybe you’ve heard this one before, or even said it yourself to someone you were breaking up with? I know I have in past relationships. If you’ve used this statement, or been on the receiving end of it, you need to listen to this podcast. There’s much more to the story. Find out by listening in…
SHOWNOTES:
- A common statement in relationship, but the real meaning behind it [1:50]
- A more honest statement to use instead [5:15]
- What is supposed to happen in a real relationship? [11:30]
- What happens when we don’t learn how to love [13:45]
HELPFUL LINKS:
Definition of True Love [Blog Post]
6 Comments
Paul Hardy
November 25, 2015I’ve recently been accused by my INFJ wife of 1.5 years of not being “in love” with her. She says she needs the passion and sizzle, but I admit that I don’t have it on a consistent basis. The infatuation level has never been that high, except at the very beginning. I believe in building love over time, but she doesn’t think we can without the sizzle. Are we doomed?
Jayson
November 29, 2015Hey Paul, She might be “caught” in the infatuation fantasy. The sizzle fades. Love is so much deeper than sizzle. Sure, try stuff to spark sizzle, but also try to relax into the bigger love. long-term partnership isn’t about sizzle.
K
November 30, 2015You have no idea how much this validated how I’d been thinking/feeling about my failed relationship and my ex. I was the recipient of this phrase – by text – as well as comments suggesting he thought a relationship should always feel wonderful (with constant references to the way we’d come together when on vacation). He also had an affair, ran away as fast as he could when I found out and things got uncomfortable, and blamed me for everything under the sun. Thank you for this! It came to my inbox with impeccable timing….
Jayson
November 30, 2015You’re so welcome K! More good stuff coming your way…
Kimberly
December 12, 2015Your message is spot on and so incredibly helpful for those who wish to live with awareness and continue to grow in love. I have become so much wiser and stronger following your relationship work. Thank you!
Diane Hubbard
July 28, 2016I got this line handed to me by my ex along with Im lost angry depressed and really just need to work on me
who then got into another relationship within 2 weeks of breaking it off with me
fast forward 3 months and his relationship with that other person ended
now we are FB friends and I have no idea what is going on with him
but cant even begin to have a conversation about what happened with us and why he now wants to be “friends” because i cant trust that he is telling me the truth
but of course as a woman i have spent quite a bit of time wondering and questioning what the hell happened and what his motives are for now wanting to be back in my life even on the peripheral
I did exactly what you suggested and began to work on myself without him and have had to let go of that fantasy of a life with him
Right on Jayson – once again thanks for the insight
🙂
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