Good intentions are great.
But they must be followed with actions.
Having the proper intention to understand someone is awesome, but it won’t cut it if you are relying on your habitual approach.
And, the habitual approach typically hurts. If you keep “trying hard” to listen to your spouse, but use your same outdated way, then don’t expect a different response.
Relationship requires us to grow. When we don’t grow our skill set, we will stagnate and calcify around habit and patterns and get dismal results.
Would you rather hurt your partner thinking you are hearing them, or learn a new way and actually connect to them?
In order to connect to them, you must go beyond what was taught to you through your parents, sports, church, and culture. We have to learn from folks who get this relationship stuff, who are farther along than we are. Then, our good intentions to understand our partner are paired with excellent listening skills, validation, and delivery.
If we do both, we can have awesome results and get the kind of love we want.
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