Surrender

My entire life has been about push, go, and willing my way through everything.

Learning how to yield is one of my new practices.

Last night, like many nights after a long day, I feel exhausted and my system begins to wind down, gearing up for a night of rest.

Yet as any new parent knows, there’s a strong possibility the night will be interrupted by a child waking up with a need and thus, disturbing your slumber.

It’s amazing to me that I often hope, wish and pray that my son doesn’t wake up so that my world and my agenda for a good night’s sleep doesn’t get disrupted.

But last night, something different happened.

My son woke up and I happily went to his room. He was standing in his crib, half crying, half speaking.  I touched his back, rubbed his head and let him know I was right here.

I kneeled next to the crib and began to hum as I often do to soothe him. I was sitting, much like I do in meditation when I realized I was indeed meditating. I immediately felt my devotion for my son. That I would sit there all night if I had to. That I would do just about anything for him. I was in touch with my deep, deep devotion to him. My heart was wide open and I was utterly present.

As I sat there, I realized a new connection with this parental devotion. It was simple yet profound.

I realized that Spirit was speaking through my son. The sacredness of this moment was pure and it echoed throughout the silence.

I began to see that spirit speaks through children and how it moves through my son all the time.

My son was crying out to me to be present, to stay “awake”, to soften and open. Spirit was crying out to me to be present, to stay “awake”, to soften and open.

Spirit spoke through my son and in doing so, I felt the radiance of all that is.

As of late, with my spiritual emergence, I often feel inches away from major divine presence.

It’s thanksgiving here in the States and I feel grateful that I have the privilege and get the opportunity to practice letting go, right here, right now, over and over.

Yet why do I make it so hard?

I’m learning that life is very straightforward when I am willing to surrender.